Secret PleasureOut of Her Control
by Vei4Vendetta
Summary: An AU fic from a first timer. Mercutio is a girl and it's all screwed up! There is a better summary so please read it. And reviewing would be nice ... you can flame, anything I'd just like a response. I love this play and I love this character. RM or RJ


_Hi there. This is my first fanfic ever. I've always been an avid reader of fanfic and I enjoy it so much I thought I should return the favour. I'm currently in a production of "Romeo and Juliet" which is a musical (it's better then it sounds, trust) and I've been cast as Mercutio ... I'm a girl, but I'm playing Mercutio as a girl. Now anyone who has studied "Romeo and Juliet" will be aware of the homosexual undertones in the relationship between Romeo and Mercutio, as in Mercutio loves Romeo and it isn't reciprocated. This is not as whacky as it sounds considering William Shakespeare was a bi-sexual ... if you get hold of a copy of all Shakespeare's work in a book then look at the dedication he writes to his patron "The Right Honourable Henry Wriothesley, Earl of Southampton, and Baron of Titchfield" for "The Rape of Lucrece". Definite undertones. Anyway I thought about how I am playing my character as a girl, with feelings for Romeo that he might or might not return. You see I think Shakespeare wanted to show the love Romeo has for his two most important relationships; Juliet and Mercutio. He kills for both of them. For Juliet, and the chance to be by her side he kills Paris and himself, and for Mercutio, he kills Tybalt, Juliet's beloved cousin. Now, if both these people were dead then why should he live? That is my reasoning behind why he would kill himself at the tomb and not before. Anyway, I don't know if that is comprehensible because it is late and I'm tired but ... I wanted to explain my idea._

_My Idea (a plot bunny if you will)_

_Mercutio is a girl, Romeo's best friend from when they were young, and they do love each other but not maybe in the same way. Now this will be in modern times as girls and boys couldn't be friends in the original time period it is set. This however adds to the fact that girls and boys who are friends for so long can end up in situations where they could sleep together thinking it won't effect them, but obviously (as with all sexual experiences) it adds complications. _

_I wanted to write this and see where it goes ... it might be Romeo and Juliet ending, or Romeo and Mercutio ending ... or it could morph into something unrecognisable and destroy all it sees. lol. Anyway enjoy my demented brain child._

_P.S. Listen to this with Fall Out Boy's "Golden" playing on repeat._

_The smothering air of a hot climate covered Verona like a thick velvet pillow and overflowed through windows and doors into homes, causing the occupants discomfort. However, at least one person was not affected, or at least did not notice, as she lay curled in her double bed with cool Egyptian cotton sheets tangled and stained with sex and sweat. She lay staring at the sun already far passed the horizon. She had watched the beautiful sight in silence not giving the spectacle any regard. For anyone who knew her well enough they would find this alarming, she loved the sunrise almost as much as she loved the sunset always unique and intriguing over the city of Verona. The person most likely to notice was the one lying next to her in an orgasm induced coma breathing heavily, just shy of a snore. The person she turned away from and was physically avoiding in her bed that morning. Her best and oldest friend, Romeo Xavier Montague. The double edged blade; a perfect balance of love, hate and lust. He, of course, was oblivious to this believing she did this of her own free will, and in everyone else's eyes except her own it was just that; her free will, her choice that made her sleep with him night after night. Well nights when he wasn't warming another body. Juliet Annabella Capulet; the undisputed holder of the title "The Enemy"._

_This girl was able to keep Romeo enthralled where she had tried and failed time and again, and God Almighty had she tried. She had embraced him, ignored him, aroused him, spurned him, debased herself and glorified herself before him all for a tenth of the devotion she felt for him. He never noticed._

_She lay there, numb from self loathing and despised pleasure, and contemplated him and her and them. She remembered how they met in their first real English Class at primary school, sat next to each other by the tyrannical teacher and hating each other for merely being of the opposite sex and therefore "gross". She almost smiled at the irony, if only they had known they would be here. Their teacher had commented on their names being from the play "Romeo and Juliet" by William Shakespeare, and being intrigued little children they had their parents get them the play and read it to them. They were unaware of the paralleled activity in the "enemy camp" and so Romeo was surprised when as he pulled her pigtail for the umpteenth time dubbing her a "stupid girl", much to the male classmates amusement, she responded by quoting her namesake word for word. "What dost thou make minstrels of us? And if thou make us minstrels look to hear nothing but discord, for here's my fiddle stick! Zounds, consort" Bah!" And to her great surprise he completely ignored the brandished pencil and instead replied in a murmuring, reverent tone, "Pardon. My business was great, and in such a case as mine a man may strain courtesy." The spark was created that lights a slow burning flame, never fully there, never fully gone but warming and gentle and everlasting. From that fated moment there was no parting them. Not even during Rosaline's reign._

_They were older, they liked to think wiser. They jealously fought off any person who tried to separate them, that being wanna be boyfriends and girlfriends. They had been five when they met; they were now sixteen and had never had a serious "relationship". They had obviously had the standard "intimate" encounters; kissing, French kissing, hand jobs, fingering. Whilst Romeo stuck to the fairer sex, she had experimented with both but learnt she definitely preferred boys. But all this was before Rosaline Belvedere. From the second Romeo spied her very short skirt, "adult" make up laid on with a trowel and those heels way above regulation height he had wanted nothing else. She had been jealous of the attention he lavished on this interloper, and so she in turn spent more time with their friend Ben, renamed by them Benvolio. Romeo had been unhappy, complaining on her time spent away from him but when she mentioned his "extra curricular" activities with Rosaline he had angrily declared "That isn't the same thing!" They lost an intimacy of their friendship they would never regain because of those thoughtless words. No matter how at the time and later he protested he was sorry and didn't mean them, and she said it was fine, both knew they had lost the innocence in their relationship. A month after the incident he had walked right passed a depressed looking Rosaline at her lunch table and sat determinedly and territorially next to her, glaring at Benvolio who was playfully touching her shins with his shoes. She had asked like any good friend why he was ignoring Rosaline and he had declared in a careless and bored way, "She may dress like a slut but she certainly doesn't put out like one. Nothing passed a crappy blow job. Can you believe it?" She threw her lunch in his face and left. The school. Her mobile buzzed constantly with calls from Romeo and Benvolio but she turned her phone off and sought out her brother Valentine, five years her senior and her closest companion bar Romeo. Valentine was in his dingy, smoky flat skipping a lecture instead choosing to drink a brew and smoke a joint. She had been numb all the way to his and then when she sat next to him it all tumbled out to a shocked and irate older brother who cherished his little sister. He gave her a joint, some tequila and let her sleep in his bed for the rest of the afternoon whilst he drove to her school and waited for it to end. From a later account given by Benvolio (Romeo refused to mention it) her brother had leapt from Romeo left school grounds and had him against a wall smacking the back of his head whilst he held his school tie like a leash. Valentine said things like "upsetting the sweetest, happiest person to walk the earth" and told Romeo "you can be a male whore all you want but keep your shitty attitude away from my little girl". She always was his little girl. Romeo never said anything like that near her again, realising the impact those careless words had had on her. Like all his careless words had done._

_From their they gathered a little gang; Romeo, her, Benvolio, Abraham and Balthazar (really called Adam and Bert) and they cruised in Romeo's car, got drunk and high and went to parties. She had never had a real boyfriend, the guy's she was friends made sure of that. She had no more "intimate" encounters with anyone until the first night with Romeo. She wasn't resplendent; she didn't have an aloof air or womanly wiles or look incredible. They were drunk, her more than him. They were both bitching and moaning about the "dry spell" meaning no weed. She also made a comment about being sexual frustrated because he wouldn't let any guy near her. He had remained silent as she then told him of her little "fling" with an older man who worked for her uncle, the Governor Alexander Prince, and how he had taken her to dinners and kissed her passed any complaints about him being married before he tried to get in her pants. But she left quickly and denied him any joy. At this revelation she never meant to tell anyone Romeo had exploded physically throwing her around the room of the unfamiliar bedroom of the party host's parents. He told her, "For fuck sake, you idiot! You are such a dumb shit about these things! That guy wanted one thing and you almost gave it to him because you're horny! You deserve better, should want better. You're the most beautiful, lively, happy, wonderful girl I know. The only girl I ever wanted to loose my vee to, even if that isn't the case in reality. The only girl who can make me feel guilty about being a normal guy with urges and drive me wild just being herself and free … and then you tell me shit like this! You want to be "a woman", huh? Then I'll make you one; just don't ever do that bloody crap again. Understood?" But before she could answer he threw her on the bed and kissed her. It was rushed and angry, invading her mouth and seizing control, not letting her protest. Not that she was. She wanted this badly, had always wanted it. She wasn't an idiot, she knew herself well enough. He never moved off her mouth as her stripped her, never relieving himself of his clothes. When she was bare and cold before him he then attacked her neck, breasts, nipples, stomach with kisses some light as butterflies almost not there and others biting and punishing, meant to mark. The embers of their relationship flared into a forest fire, consuming and angry. She took off his clothes, popping buttons and tearing zips. She was definitely ready for him when he grabbed a Johnny and slid it on his erect penis. He then angrily pounded in her growling in rage and relief. She screamed in agony, first times are never easy, particularly when he guy isn't gentle. He then stopped and stared at her then and his look changed to something different then, still angry but also happy. He then kissed her tenderly, slowly, lovingly, like she deserved. He waited a full five minutes before he moved out of her and back in again. When she moaned in pleasure, he became angry again yelling at her about her being stupid and him needing to make her see sense. It would sound like rape to anyone else, but her t sounded like the most beautiful words she ever heard. She was new to this but she was an active participant, scratching him down his back, kissing his neck and face, whimpering encouragement and moving with him to the angry rhythm he set. He held off coming until she had seen the stars twice. The alcohol of course helped. When he came she was just descending from her high. He stayed there, not letting her go and gasping with every convulsion of her unused inner muscles. He slipped out of her and looking down saw the blood. Suddenly all the anger was gone and he was crying. She cried too, mourning her stolen moment to shine. He kissed every bruise and held her close as she kept muttering, "It's gone, it won't come again, it's ruined." He dressed her, cleaned her tears and carried her out to his car, she being to shocked and sore to move. He drove her home; put her to bed without a single complaint from her parents who trusted him. Trusted him. That's when she got angry at him, turning him away and screaming at him to leave her alone, never talk to her again, all that irrational shit. She wanted to see him again. Already she wanted him to have her again. And he did. Whenever he wanted and she never complained because he was her guy and he was special to her. Forever._

_They had that type of relationship, hidden from everyone else. They never dated because that thought never crossed his mind. She thought about it all the time but never brought it up. They were happy until he then dated Juliet. She was the only other girl he cherished as much as her. For certainly their other times had been tender and expressive, untold words of love bubbling beneath the surface. She lived by herself now and that made it easier. They only ever slept in her bed. She never made it to his bed but Juliet did. That's where he loved her; the two things were separate in his mind, two different domains for his two different women. They were separate, he never let them meet. She didn't even know about Juliet until she accidentally saw them together as she drove in her car to her brother's. That night for the first time she slept with someone other than Romeo; a guy named Tybalt Sirelli, her brother's friend. He was rough and hard and angry, which suited her fine. He left marks that Romeo found two nights later. They argued and he left saying her comments him having Juliet now so she had to get her kicks somewhere else as "bullshit". He was merciless that night; he fucked her and screamed at her and she egged him on by remaining as impassive as she could. She secretly hoped it would win him back. A pathetic lie; she never had him. When they were done he held with no tenderness and didn't stay the night. He went to Juliet's and made love to her for the first time. His best friend cried on her bathroom floor because he sent her a text telling her that's what he was doing. He wanted her to hurt. And he got it._

_Months later, an engagement ring on Juliet's finger and a university scholarship in Oxford for the numb girl currently in bed with Romeo and she was here. He had told her secrets in the middle of their passion; how he sometimes faked an orgasm with Juliet because he wanted to just sleep, but how he never wanted to sleep when his secret pleasure was on her back moaning for him. She was leaving for Oxford, England in less than 12 hours, she was packed but it was all hidden from Romeo. She hadn't told him because he would say she couldn't go and she would obey him. Dance to his tune like a proper secret pleasure. She needed to escape him before he found out. She didn't want him to know because then this mess she was in would get worse. She suddenly moved and climbed out of the bed. She walked on to her small balcony and stared at the city she would return to and take over when her uncle, Governor Prince, deemed her ready. She was wrapped in Romeo's shirt and grabbed her Zippo and menthol cigarettes before lighting up and letting the nicotine stop her brain activity for now. Then she suddenly swore loudly and threw it away, screaming at her stupidity._

"_Mercutio?" His beloved and despised voice sleepily begged but for once she didn't do what he wanted. She heard the muttered curse and rustling as he got up, pulled on his boxers and came up behind her holding her from behind and kissing her clothed shoulder. "What time is it?"_

"_Time you left, man. You got to get home, change and head out for your dream internship, remember?" Mercutio couldn't help herself and grinned. But then Romeo quickly left her side and dressed. He called a "bye, babe, see you tonight!" before the door shut. She stayed still and silent before getting out everything she needed for the trip. She washed, dressed, grabbed her bags and went down to the waiting taxi, on the way handing over her keys to the land lady who smiled tightly and watched her leave. She reached the airport with no problem and checked in without a problem._

"_Mercutio! Girl wait up!" Benvolio sprinted at her across the airport drawing stares. He stopped in front of her and hugged her tight. She returned in gratefully and with teary eyes. He was the only one who knew excluding her family. The most reliable, sweet guy in the world loved her and worshipped her and she was stuck on Romeo. Oh, the irony!_

"_Why you leaving, honey? I'm gonna miss that tight ass of yours you know." She could reply but got out an envelope with his and Romeo's name on it, with an extra note, "not to be opened before I leave." She kissed his cheek and turned walking away into the world._

_Benvolio watched her tanned, taught body walk away. He could see her firm butt, small waist and brown curly hair. He couldn't see her ample breasts or hazel eyes but imagined them, her full lips smiling like they were made for. He did as she asked; waiting till her plane took off before leaving the airport and going to Romeo's office at his internship. Romeo looked shocked, upset, angry and ready to explode as Benvolio explained what had happened ignoring Romeo's accusation for him not making her stay. Benvolio just opened the letter and stared at the contents in silent shock. Romeo angrily and hastily took the envelope and emptied them on to the desk. The contents were a letter showing her scholarship to Oxford University for a degree in English, a tape baring a sticker saying "PLEASE LISTEN" and finally a white stick. Romeo picked it up and stared at the words "pregnant" proclaimed in blue. He stared as he realised; Mercutio, his secret pleasure and best friend, his needed element was pregnant with baby and had run away without telling him a word because she knew he would stop. He was shocked. "Stupid fucking bitch!" he picked up his desk and knocked it all over in rage._

"_Man, it's her choice and it's her baby. The second you choose Juliet to be your wife instead of her you lost any rights to control her." Romeo looked up shocked at his friend. "Yes, I knew. It was her choice, you were her choice. And in the end it should always be her choice. You trapped her in a screwed life because you wanted to cage a wild thing like Mercutio and in the end she broke free of you. And you know what cos'? I'm glad! Now you have to survive without her just like the rest of us who loved her and wanted her but you wouldn't let us! I'm the one she trusts now, not you. And it's your fault you lost all that!"_

_Benvolio stormed out of the wrecked office, brushing his black hair out of his blue eyes, and into the sun leaving the stricken Romeo to his selfish grief, tearing at his brown hair and tears streaming from his green eyes._


End file.
